漂泊飞儿

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http://driftingsunfly.blogbus.com/logs/47121397.html

饭后同事传来首歌，sweetbox的life is cool，歌词那叫一个应情应景哦，好像专门为我们这群人打造的一样

i never really try to be positive
i'm too damn busy being negative
so focused on what i get
and never understand what it means to live
you know we all love to just complain
but maybe we should try to rearrange
there's always someone
who's got it worse than you
my life is so cool
from a different point of view
we're all so busy tryin'to get ahead
got a pillow of fear when we go to bed
we're never satisfied
the grass is greener on the other side
we're so distracted with the jealousy
forget it's in our hands to stop the agony
will you ever be content
on your side of the fence?
maybe you're the guy who needs a second chance
maybe you're the girl who's never asked to dance
maybe you're lonely soul
a single mother scared and all alone
gotta remember we live what we choose
it's not what you say it's what you do
and the life you want is the life you have to make

毫无工作的兴致与心情，波澜不惊的外表掩不住内心的烦躁。原本应是期待收获的时刻，人生第一次的升职，即将生效的新title，大抵都要因为一纸salary letter上豆大的数字变得毫无意义。也许，为了当初很多人都不解的这个选择，必然要承担风险与代价，只是我付出和失去的还不够么

一片叫好声中house强势回归了，可每每我却会产生中途将播放器关闭的冲动。这个卸下了所有骄傲的大叔，让我觉得陌生而又惶恐。我打心底里希望他快乐，但通过如此常规的诊疗，甚至无比烂俗的ONS情节，企图在每一分绝望每一分卑微中剥离剖析house的手法，在我看来是如此地缺乏信服力。是我不愿意直面失败与妥协吧，所以在这个角色身上寄予了太多的个人选择与情绪，以至于看到大叔湿红的眼角，觉得不堪承受。这一幕让我不得不回想起，之前那段失败的感情，在最后的时刻，我放下所有的自尊和骄傲，将内心深处的脆弱与不安一览无遗地掏给了对方，结果又能怎样呢？偏偏就在前天，在这个我怀疑痛恨甚至抗拒一切的时候，他来问我过得好不好，妈的，这个世界怎么了!